Earth Bound Soul

new home

I haven't been around here much lately, but with good reason.All of my efforts are starting to come together and make sense. If you'll remember my post about becoming a doula, you might guess why. 

Training has been going well. Business planning has been eye opening. Networking has been soul quenching. This is what I have been waiting my whole life for. For sisterhood. For belonging. For assurance.

If you're so inclined, please check out my professional website:Earthbound Soul Doula. Feel free to share with your friends too! I will be staying here for personal writing. I think that feels right to me for now. I am blogging on my website as well, but it is entirely birth,pregnancy and family related. 

Thank you to everyone for your support and encouragement on this journey. It is beautiful.

xo, d

 

(photo source unknown)

sacred.

sacred. such a powerful word. 

I've had so much energy in my heart for this word. What is sacred? 

"everything" she whispers.

when I started my sacred soul journey a few years ago, I had no idea where it would lead me. I tried to control the path, cause that's what I do. correction: did. when I let go and let the energy take over, I learned so much about myself. I'm still learning. 

at some point, I had the realization that I was put here to empower women. to uplift women. to shift the self loathing that we have all become accustomed to having into something sacred for each woman whose life I was allowed in to. it's been a challenging road to this point, because I am still empowering myself. when I get out of the way, it all becomes so clear.

I have been scared to move forward. the what if's started screaming in my ear. the dangers and challenges and consequences became more apparent. but I let the truth simmer inside of me until it was such a part of me that  I could not ignore it anymore. and the truth is still there, patiently waiting for me to breathe life into it. 

"Imagine a new story for your life, and start living it" ~ Paulo Coelmo

I have taken the first steps into becoming a birth doula.

so many women have had births that traumatize them because they feel disempowered. unheard. ignored. neglected. I was one of those women many years ago. through the creation and birth of my newborn, I felt more called than ever to help women have the choice, the knowledge, the power and the strength to let their voices be so loud that they cannot be ignored. so they may have the kind of birth that will make them feel like the all powerful goddesses they truly are. 

I pour over birthing books like they are candy. I research the ins and outs of birth around the world. I talk to other "birthy" mommas and gain knowledge from all of them. I feel the calling to be in this field stronger than I have felt anything in my life, with the exception of becoming a mother myself. 

I'm on the verge. and I'm reading to dive head first into the sacred pool of birthing women. 

 

It's been so long.

I've been a little busy since my last post.

Mourning the loss of my best friends pregnancy. Discovering that my guess date for baby's arrival was off by roughly 4 weeks. Delivering baby exactly 4 weeks from my first guess date and lately, baby mooning.

Add to that trying to love on my sweet monkey as much as possible so he doesn't feel neglected with his new baby brothers arrival and I am spent.

I am writing up Harvests birth story, however. I will post it soon. But for now...love.

growing light.

My family and I have spent the past several days together. Unpacking moving boxes, watching movies, eating, laughing, making space in the corners of our home. It has been a great few days. The sort of days that you might take for granted, but shouldn't. We even managed a baby bump photo shoot one afternoon. (I'll post a photo or two at the end.)

The majority of the past 2 days have been spent finishing the unpacking of boxes that were overtaking our garage since our move last month. My husband and I have worked together for hours over the past two days to get boxes emptied and things put away. As I work, I often have a running dialogue in my head of things I'm thinking about, working through, planning, contemplating, etc. I have been really focused on light during these last few days. As in, lighten-ing. As in, letting go and making space and breathing.

I carry things with me both emotionally and physically. As a result, I have boxes and boxes of stuff that I have carried from home to home to home. Baggage. Some of which I was happy to be reunited with but letting go of the unneeded and releasing the unnecessary has made me feel lighter. It's like spring cleaning for the soul. Clearing out the cobwebs of time and letting the warm sun shine in. light.

While we managed to empty the garage, there is still much work to do. My art space is by far going to be the pièce de résistance as the room is barely penetrable at this moment. But what has been done so far has been enlightening. I am anxious to move forward into my space. It will hold many transformations for me. My art space used to be my sanctuary. My escape. My way to ignore what was happening around me. It wasn't healing or generous. It was painful.

Over the last 2 years, I have found my voice in my art. I have grown into the artist I am today. I am still growing and learning, but I have, so far, done this without the surroundings of my former area. It will be interesting to see how I let go in this room. I have a hope in my heart of what I would like it to feel like, but sometimes, emotions get the best of us all. My goal is to create a space that is warm and inviting. Open and sacred. Emotional and thought provoking. Healing. Light.

Learning to let go for your own benefit is a difficult, painful task to learn. As a child I grew up having to let go of everything that I had, knew and loved over and over again. Nothing was constant in my life. Not who raised me, not where I lived, not the school I went to or even the rules I had to follow. You learn to detach yourself from things that matter and jump through hoops. 

As an adult, I took some super secret oath to never let go. Of anything. Not scraps of paper, or old scrub brushes. This too became a problem. Upon my awakening, which is what I like to call to period of time that I woke up and started living MY life, I was fearful of letting go. Letting go meant perhaps that the previous years of my life weren't valid. Or that I was trying to somehow forget a time when I was hurting rather than focusing on the beauty that I was blessed with, such as my son. So I started with baby steps. Anything broken, un-fixable, unwearable or outdated could go. What a huge step for me. I struggled, really I did. It was like ripping off an arm to get me to throw out an old newspaper. 

Over the past 4 years, I have become braver at letting go and genuinely being ok with that. Chalk it up to feeling secure and loved and validated. However, I still have to be the one to make the decision of what can stay and what can go. But I am doing it. And that, my friends, is what is really important. Taking steps forward into my new life that is filled with love and laughter and light.

I read this post on Roots of She recently and feel that it is fitting for today.

"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.

-Rachel Naomi Remen"

This is what runs through my heart now.

Letting go to become who I am.

And it feels damn good.

And now... the baby bump.

26ish weeks along. 

*photos by my genius husband. Ian Norris*

 

with the boy.