Earth Bound Soul

what do I really, really, really want?

for a woman so opinionated, you'd think the answer was simple, or even clear. but it has never been simple. or clear. 

I want so much but at the same time, find peace in being content with what is.

is it selfish to want? I ask myself. 

or, is wanting simply dreaming? or perhaps just setting goals? 

 

...I want so much.

equality and respect for women. so much so that there have been talks of a revolution.

I want real food available to everyone. oh, and health care. I want that to be free.

I want people to honor each other and realize that there is so much more to living than what you can buy.

I want to crumble all the walls that protect me so that I can live a life of unbridled joy.

I want to always be at peace with myself and my world, showing my children how to honor themselves as they grow. 

I want to remain confident in myself even when faced with uncertainties.

I want to surround myself with a tribe of women who heal and protect and love one another at all times. 

I want simplicity. and peace. and love. and respect.

and healing. 

and light.

I want a better life for everyone.

is that too much to ask?

 

now, what do you really, really, really want?

a grateful thank you to rain, for her soul-stirring prompts for warrioresses. you are beauty. 

Grateful.

My husband and I have a great relationship. We've evolved from the ripping your clothes off every time you see each other madness to a place where we are both comfortable enough to laugh at ourselves, as well as each other. Don't get me wrong, the passion is still there. But there is something so gratifying in being able to be your complete honest self with someone no matter how silly or crazy you might appear to them.

This is something that has taken me a while to learn. And I have done it kicking and screaming.

See, being lighthearted, especially in a deep committed relationship is not something that comes easy to me. It used to. I used to be that girl. The one who could joke about anything and make fun of herself and feel lighthearted no matter what. But years of darkness finally silenced her. And coming back into the light has not been easy. And to be honest, I'm still learning, struggling, journeying.

The best part of all is that my sweet, beautiful, loving, crazy, obnoxiously lighthearted husband has given me room to grow. He's had his own frustrations along the way, I know. But at the end of the day he will look at me and say "I love you. That's it. I just love you."

And for that, I am grateful.

8.

Tomorrow, my child turns eight.

As any mother can tell you, learning from your child is one of the most heart wrenching, soul filling experiences you can have as a woman. He came to me, eyes closed, nuzzling into my breast almost before I held him. Over the years, he has taught me how to become a better person. A patient, loving, open minded person. I only hope I've taught him half as well.

He is sassy, inquisitive, funny, intelligent, hard headed, determine, dirty, loving, sensitive, artistic, imaginative, beautiful and perfect to me. He is often way too loud, covered in dirt, making a mess and having a ball while doing it. If only we could all be so free and happy.

He loves lego, Harry Potter, waffles, fried chicken, ice cream, calamari, sushi, dancing, singing, our dogs, his new baby brother or sister, his family and getting into stuff.

He isn't fond of chocolate cake, beans, religion, bullies, baths that are too hot, being bossed around and going to bed alone. 

He fills me with pride and love daily. He can make me laugh like no other. He still climbs onto my lap for cuddles and gives the sweetest kisses. He has made the person I am today. A more loving woman. A good mom. A sensitive soul.

Happy Birthday, Monkey!